I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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