I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
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Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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