Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize