Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize