Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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