My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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