Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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