Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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