real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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