i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize