Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize