Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize