Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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