we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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