OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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