so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize