Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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