plz talk dirty to me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
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Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
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My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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