i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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