Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize