Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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