Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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