In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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