Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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