Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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