i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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