I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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