Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had to cum in my sink.
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