i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize