just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
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My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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