I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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