so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
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Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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