we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize