Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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