It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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