I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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