I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize