JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
