I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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