idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize