I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize