we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize