So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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