just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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