There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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