I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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