I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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