I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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