Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize