You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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