The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize