She is in my trunk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dear god my vagina.
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